MBTI and Feedback: A Few Small Things
At six on Friday, Ah Ching’s manager stopped beside her desk in Kwun Tong. He glanced at her report, smiled and said, “Just a few small things to change next week.” She nodded. On the MTR, she opened the report on her phone and enlarged the first page. The words grew; the request did not become clearer.
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Was the opening too long? Had she chosen the wrong figures? She remembered his smile, but could not decide what it meant. Perhaps he had been trying to soften something worse.
At dinner, a friend asked which changes he had requested.
“He didn’t say.”
The report contained three days of work. Ah Ching had checked the figures and added a plain-language explanation for readers who had missed the meetings. Now she was wondering whether to start again.
What she needed to hear
Two MBTI preferences helped Ah Ching describe how she worked. F, Feeling, meant she weighed values and the effect on people when making decisions. She had kept that explanation because the client’s colleagues would need it, even though it made the report longer.
J, Judging, fitted her preference for clear expectations and settled plans. Before starting, she had confirmed the purpose, listed the sections and agreed on a handover. She liked knowing what she had promised, and what finished would look like.
The comment left both questions open: had she missed what the readers needed, and what did she still owe? These were useful concerns. Without a specific request, she was answering them by guessing. Her FJ preferences described what mattered to her; they could not supply her manager’s missing words.
On Monday, she brought him the report.
“Which change matters most?”
“Put the conclusion first. The client may not read to the end. Make these chart labels bigger, too.” He turned a page. “Keep this comparison. It’s useful.”
“Do I need a new conclusion?”
“No, just move the one you have.”
They agreed on a revision by three. Ah Ching drew an arrow beside the paragraph. The work finally had a shape she could finish.
The same words, from another chair
That afternoon, a colleague, Mei, asked Ah Ching to review a client email. Ah Ching liked the example on page two, but wanted it earlier. Two sentences at the end repeated the same point.
Mei looked tired. Ah Ching did not want a short revision to sound like a complaint about the whole piece.
“It’s good. Just a few small things to change,” she said, smiling.
Mei nodded and closed the file.
To Ah Ching, they had just had a considerate conversation. She had recognised Mei’s work and kept the correction light. She returned to her own screen.
Across the desk, Mei opened a new copy of the email. “Small things” might mean the tone, the example or the request to the client. She had nodded because Ah Ching seemed finished speaking, not because she knew what to do. She called the new file “revision”, then sat with her hands beside the keyboard.
The smile had been kind. The next step was still missing.
“Sorry,” Mei said. “Which bit do you want me to change?”
Ah Ching turned back. She recognised the question before she recognised her own sentence.
Keeping the care, changing the request
She pulled her chair alongside Mei’s.
“The example on page two makes the point clearly. Move it before the background, so the client sees what we mean straight away. These last two sentences repeat each other; keep either one. The rest can stay.”
“Before I send it this afternoon?”
“Yes. Is there anything else in the queue that clashes with that?”
Mei shook her head and picked up a pen.
Ah Ching had not needed to care less about Mei’s feelings. Her F preference could also mean considering the cost of leaving Mei to guess. Her J preference could help them agree on a workable finish, rather than assuming a nod had settled it.
For feedback, that becomes a simple habit: point to the work, explain the effect and agree on the next step. If you are receiving it, ask for the missing piece. An example, a priority or a deadline may be enough. If a request is unfair or contradictory, clarity also gives you something specific to question.
Sixteen types, sixteen starting points
Tadaland’s Mozzarella, an ISFJ character, offers another way to explore care and responsibility. Ah Ching’s story uses F and J without assigning her a full type. The suggestions below borrow all sixteen characters’ themes; try them with the person, rather than predicting what their letters require.
| Type and Tadamate | A way to give useful feedback |
|---|---|
| ISTJ · Beanie | Name the standard and show exactly where the work misses it. |
| ISFJ · Mozzarella | Recognise useful work; explain who the change will help. |
| INFJ · Roro | Explain the purpose privately, then allow time to reflect. |
| INTJ · Jimi | Give the reasoning and evidence; leave room to question both. |
| ISTP · Nico | Point to the problem and a practical fix to try. |
| ISFP · Mellow | Notice the care in the work; make the revision specific. |
| INFP · Apollo | Connect the change to the project’s purpose without dismissing the idea. |
| INTP · Cappu-Cappu | Identify the assumption in question and work through it together. |
| ESTP · Hoola | Keep it concrete: what needs attention, and what comes first? |
| ESFP · Taro | Speak warmly and privately, with one manageable next step. |
| ENFP · Jolly | Separate the promising idea from the part that needs revising. |
| ENTP · Pierre | Explain the problem and compare possible solutions before settling. |
| ESTJ · Cres | Confirm the required result, the owner and the deadline. |
| ESFJ · Pixi | Explain the effect on others and agree how to work together. |
| ENFJ · Micah | Acknowledge the intention; show what would help the team more. |
| ENTJ · Dante | Lead with the outcome, support it with evidence and be concise. |
A place to begin
Mei circled the paragraph to move and crossed out one sentence. Then she began typing.
Ah Ching remembered the report growing larger on her phone, station after station. The same wish to be kind had now left someone with work she could actually do.
This time, the conversation had somewhere to go.
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